“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
Told you that the blogging deadline was going to be hardest to meet, didn’t I?
The truth is, absolutely none of the goals I’ve set for April for my leisure writing have been met. I failed spectacularly on my “two blog posts a month” goal and the story goal is best not discussed, as I don’t think I could discuss it without much profanity and drinking. I’ve been barely meeting the obligations of real life and that’s with stretching the definition of “meeting.”
I’ve been stressed out for numerous reasons over the course of my college career, but right now the demands of the real world have gotten back to the agonizing level they were at in high school when I was applying for college. At that time I had to put in hours of work for an incredibly uncertain outcome while juggling the demands of being a student, working, and sports. There’s something paralyzing in hitting your outermost limit in terms of what you can handle and it begins to seep into everything else.
When I first conceived of writing this particular blog post, I was going to delve into some spiel about how the things I’m juggling have impacted my ability to write and how I wish there was some way to shake all this and how, with just a few more hours in the day or with eliminating the need for sleep, I could meet all my goals. While there’s a ton of merit, to my mind, to losing sleep as a necessary thing for health and sanity (it takes up way too much time in an already short day), the truth is, I have been writing.
I’ve been writing a lot, actually. This week has been packed with it. Better yet, it’s writing I’m actually being paid for. I’ve been busy the past month trying to work and while I truly wish that I could write more for myself and read more for myself, this overload of things I’ve been doing is still meaningful.
Hell, it’s been fun.
I tend to throw myself into my work in most cases, but there’s no denying that I take a lot more joy in interviewing someone and writing an article than I ever did in mixing drinks and ringing up hangers. The truth is, when the work is something that I like, I’ve found that I love being busy.
So as far as this blog goes, I have no intention of abandoning it. However the coming months are going to be transitional ones, and they are not going to be easy to handle. I’m going to have to devote a lot of my waking hours to making it out of college and into the work force in one piece and when it comes to be being busy, I have to make sure that it’s the work that will actually enable me to get food, shelter, and the books that I love to spend time with. I didn’t have to worry about that when I started this blog, because I’m lucky and spoiled enough to not have to worry about things like tuition and board.
But that time is rapidly coming to a close and I have to adjust accordingly. So the writing I do will be offline, at least for now. When I get to a point where I have settled and gotten my own things in order, I will be back. But for now, much as I love reading other people’s stories, I have to start figuring out my own so my life doesn’t end up resembling a scribbled mess.
I think that by July, the revisions should be complete enough that I can come back here regularly. But until then, I will leave all of you with a tremendous thank you for following me and reading my ramblings.
If someone figures out how to get rid of sleep without bringing about insanity, do please let me know.